Math and Love, Just for Laugh

"Wasn't yesterday your and your wife's first wedding anniversary? What is it like having being married to a mathematician for a whole year?"

"She just filed for divorce..."

"I don't believe it! Did you forget about your wedding day?"

"No. Actually, on my way back home from work, I stopped at a flower store and bought a bouquet of red roses for my wife. When I came home, I gave her the roses and said: `I love you.'"

"So, what happened?!"

"Well, she took the roses, slapped them around my face, kicked me in the groin, and threw me out of our apartment..."

"What a bitch!"

"No, no... it's all my fault... I should have said: `I love you and only you.'."

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A newlywed husband is discouraged by his wife's obsession with mathematics. Afraid of being second fiddle to her profession, he finally confronts her: "Do you love math more than me?"

"Of course not, dear - I love you much more!"

Happy, although sceptical, he challenges her: "Well, then prove it!"

Pondering a bit, she responds: "Ok... Let epsilon be greater than zero..."

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When the math professor's wife returns home from work, she finds an envelope on the living room table. She opens it and finds a letter from her husband:

      My dearest wife,

      We have been married for nearly thirty years, and I still love you as much as on the day I proposed. You must realize, however, that you are now 54 years old and no longer able to satisfy certain needs I still have. I very much hope that you are not hurt to learn that, while you're reading this, I'm in a hotel room with an 18-year-old freshman girl from my calculus class. I'll be home before midnight.

      Your husband, who will never stop loving you.

When the professor returns from the hotel shortly before midnight, he also finds an envelope in the living room. He opens it and reads:

      My beloved husband,

      You may recall that you, too, are 54 years old and no longer able to satisfy certain needs I still have. I thus hope that you are not hurt to learn that, while you're reading this, I am in a hotel room with the 18-year-old pool boy.

      Your loving wife.

      P.S. As a mathematician, you are certainly aware of the fact that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, don't stay up and wait for me.